Kalymnos, day 1

(the view from Mastixari)
Today was Chloe's first real day without kids (THANK YOU STEPHANIE!!).  I caught her looking around nervously for them, catch herself and then relax (like I have been doing for the past week and a half).  We got an early start for Milan and our Grand Ryanair Experiment, driving across town on the Rocade Sud, through the Gresivaudan valley, and then through the Maurienne and the tunnel.  There was a huge line of trucks awaiting inspection on the grade leading to the tunnel, which we happily were able to pass.  From there it was through what seemed like twenty tunnels and as many pay tolls as we crept towards Milan.  Somewhere around Milan, having had perfect conditions the whole way, we encountered the mother of all traffic jams.  Chloe and I were pretty stressed, but we ended up making it to the airport parking in what we thought was enough time.  I should back up here and say that we have never flown RyanAir.  After four previous trips to Kalymnos, we have tried all manner of connections and this time we were dedicated to the cause of not flying through Athens.  The Athens connection is terrible, and almost always involves staying the night there, in some awful and/or overpriced hotel (except the one Stephanie treated us to, at the airport!).  So, the idea was to find a direct flight from somewhere near Grenoble to Kos or Kalymnos.  And since nobody actually flies to Kalymnos, that meant Kos.  On the climb Kalymnos website, they announced the Ryanair routes earlier in the spring, so despite the myriad horror stories that we have heard and read, we booked a flight from the closest airport (Milan Bergamo) to Kos.  There are a huge number of options, so we just picked what we thought would be best.  One particularity of the Ryanair experience is that you are required to check in online and pre-print out your boarding pass.  However, during the checkin process, when I de-selected the added insurance option, it would remove the checked baggage (you need to pay for checked baggage).  When I re-added it, the tickets ended up being 150 euro more expensive.  Calls to their expensive help line connected me to a disconnected number.  I'm sure they charged me anyway.  There was no contact information for email or any other method.  Eventually I figured out the insurance scam though, printed out the tickets, as well as an itemised list just in case.  We opted for one extra heavy bag (20kg) because of all the gear.  Despite all this I was quite nervous that we would get to the airport and then learn that we would have to pay hundreds of additional euros in baggage fees!  One last thing worth mentioning is that there was an airport parking deal which we bought, which seemed pretty good: 45 euro for our entire 13 days of parking.  It was called "Ciao Parking" and claimed to be 4 minutes from the airport.  I assumed that this meant that it was 15-20 minutes away.  Therefore, as time was ticking away in that huge traffic jam, I was doing the mental calculations... parking=20 minutes, check-in=30 minutes, and getting slightly hysterical.  We navigated the industrial estate that houses Ciao Parking, registered with them, parked the car, missed the first shuttle, and then sat in the second shuttle as a fat Belgian in a mercedes SL class fumbled around in his car while holding up his finger to the driver and telling him to wait.  Eventually we left, and imagine my surprise to find that the airport was actually four minutes away!  Chloe and walked into what looked like a third world bus terminal, with peeling paint and stacks of luggage everywhere.  There were huge lines to check baggage in for every carrier except Ryanair!  We walked up to the counter, gave the guy our tickets, loaded up our luggage and incredibly did not have any problems.  It was smooth sailing also through security and we were soon on the upper floor of the airport, which is noticeably further upscale than the downstairs, with Armani stores and thousand euro handbag stores.  Amusingly, the signs for the gates lead you in a big circle around all of the stores.  Within a millisecond of the Ryanair guy clearing his throat on the PA, a throng of Italians in stylish sunglasses had queued up into an impressive line.  We discovered then that one of the options that we had bought: reserved seats, also entitled us to board first, so we casually strode past the unwashed masses amidst looks of wonder and envy.  It was as if we had just pulled up in a Lamborghini (And speaking of which, there were several Lambo employees who had also booked reserved seats on the plane), and all for 15 euros.  With reserved seating, you also get access to the "1" row, which has a huge amount of leg room.  After the usual safety stuff, which I actually paid attention to for once, having read that Ryanair mayday calls are on the rise, we were off!  For the rest of the short flight, we were offered all manner of things (for a small fee):  food, sweepstakes tickets, and even perfume.  I was not even aware that Lady Gaga had a perfume, and chloe and I somewhat indiscreetly pondered aloud what it might smell like: cigarettes?  sweat? alcohol?  Anyway, we landed in Kos a few hours later and were left to walk across the tarmac to the terminal without an escort or any clear path.  I felt that this was probably in violation of some kind of safety rules.  My final nice surprise with the Ryanair experience was when our bags came out first -- I wonder if this is part of the priority/reserved thing?  Best 2x15 euros ever.  Without having taken the return flight I can say that the Ryanair thing worked out great for us.  Things stopped working out great after we arrived in Mastixari at 17:30 to find that not only had the 18:00 ferry been cancelled, but so had the 18:30!  The next ferry would be at 20:45, so we did the obvious thing and ate fried calamari and other delicacies by the water until it was time to go.  The water was pretty choppy, and while we were waiting to board, Chloe took some motion sickness pills.  At long last we started the journey across the channel to Kalymnos.  An American kid behind us was shrieking at the crest of every wave, which gave me a headache after the first thirty or so.  Once in Pothia, we had to find a way to get to the other end of the island (Emborios) and ended up getting a bit ripped off on a scooter rental.  We stacked it up with our new and already much beloved North Face Duffel, my CiloGear pack and our day packs and putt-putted Dumb and Dumber style to Emporios.


In a show of their amazing hospitality, despite it being close to 10 pm, Dimitri and Evdokia served us some stuffed tomatoes, and later a few shots of tsipouro!  Shortly afterwards, we collapsed.