The Six Stages of Climbing Injuries

Stage 1: Injury is something that happens to your older climbing friends (you know, the guys with the good footwork), but does not register as an actual possibility as something that could happen to you.

Stage 2: First minor or major injury. Initial shock that injuries can happen to you, followed by literature (internet) consultation. Conclusion: this was a freak occurrence. No need for stretching or altering of ones program. Purchase of recommended rehab equipment (Therabands, Metolius squishy ball, etc). Once rehabbed, all of this gear can be given away to your older, more brittle friends. Re-commence dynos, weighted hangboard workouts and dime edged crimps without warming up.

Stage 3: Re-injury of #2. Annoyance at having more down time and having to re-buy the rehab gear. Troubling whispers in the back of your mind that #2 was not such an isolated incident after all.

Stage 4 (optional): New injury. Rationalization. It was cold out. And I grabbed that hold in a weird way. And I was climbing with a mutant. Rehab and ignore.

Stage 5: Re-re-injury of #3. Profound soul searching. Conclusion: I'm getting f#@$@# old! I'm one of the brittle old dudes! Re-purchase the Theraband. This time I'm keeping the damn thing. Begin crotchety and snarky posting about injuries on internet climbing fora. Aggressively attack the naivete of climbers in Stage 1 or earlier (don't bother -- did you listen to those old guys back then? no.). Start stretching.

Stage 6. Go to Stage 3, repeat.